Christmas is almost here...

Finally able to post our Christmas blog. Apologies, it has been so hectic these last few weeks with me in rehearsals for OperaUpClose's "Madam Butterfly" (more on that later) and I've also spent the last ten days suffering with a heavy cold, flu and chest infection. (And no, it wasn't just "man-flu"!!)

As I said, it has been very hectic preparing for Christmas, and of course the weather hasn't helped any, either. Snow in the last week of November followed by more snow last week! (Which is still here.)

Pat and Jack were due to arrive the first weekend of December, but because of the snow had to come a week later. This meant an extra busy weekend as our dear friend Eve Barnes also arrived from Wales. All went well though, and I took Brian's parents back home on Monday 13th, popping into mine on the way.

The first photo above is our beloved Anna who has given us massages every week at the Cancer Centre. The next is a rather blurred M&S Christmas lunch, not drunken stupour, but more Brian being overwhelmed by the affection shown by all his colleagues - oh, and he had the camera on the wrong setting, so no surprises there!

Our friend Fiona come over for lunch on Friday 10th, note the hats! Then a couple of snaps from the Dorchester Hotel, where Brian went for Afternoon Tea with the Cancer Centre last Wednesday 15th. Needless to say, he felt quite at home and would love to move there permanently!

My brother Jon, and his two children Amber and David, came to visit us on Saturday 18th, to exchange Christmas presents from themselves and the rest of my family in Colchester. Brian made his first trek into London on Sunday to watch my performance of Sharpless in Puccini's "Madam Butterfly", which is now running at the King's Head, Islington. He was quite surprised to see that "she" is now a "he"!?! (It's been set in Thailand and Butterfly is a Ladyboy!)

We took gifts into M&S for some of the staff who've been visiting Brian and buying "waste" for him on Monday. The final picture is yesterday, when our neighbour Lawrence came over, along with Graham, also to exchange gifts - now all the presents have gone, apart from the ones for us, naturally!

Brian has just finished cycle 5 of 8 of chemo yesterday, now he has a week off to celebrate a quiet Christmas - it will just be Brian, Tony, Geoffrey and myself, then Graham comes on Boxing Day. We look forward to 2011 and hope for extra luck with health. Brian wants a holiday in Turkey, too.

Wishing you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR, love to all of you and thank you for your unfailing support!

Ian x

Moving on....

Well, it has been a while!! Sorry, but life has been hectic these past 4/5 weeks. Geoffrey has moved. Three words that sum up so much hard work and planning, but, as they say, the most stressful things in life are moving house/marriage/divorce. Detailing just how much work has gone into moving Geoffrey is BORING, but it is behind us now. Work continues, but it is now under control. I am sure that if you visit Brian, you may get to take a trip to the flat - it's only 7 minutes walk from our house!

My Dad and Shirley came to lunch on the 3rd November. We celebrated Shirley's birthday, (as the photo's show), and it was the first time in 20 years that they haven't celebrated it in the States! It was great to see them and the cake was fun!

Brian joined the other members of the BIG team, (Business Involvement Group @ M&S), for a meal at "Il Ponte" in Croydon. It was his first night out at a restaurant since July. He loved meeting up with his colleagues, but was tired when he got home.

Lots of friends have visited from M&S, the latest being Liz. Fortunately, she loves Christmas, which is just as well because Brian has turned the house into a festive grotto!! You can see Liz and Brian by the tree in our hallway. I am sure that this will be the first of many such poses!!

The chemo goes on, and on the 30th November it will be halfway with the pills. Various side-effects on each set of pills, but nothing that he can't handle, and Brian just gets on with it. We visit the Surgeon's team on Thursday 25th, after which we have a massage at the Cancer Centre in Purley. This is a highlight of Brian's week! (And mine, too!)

Pat and Jack arrive on 2nd December with Peter, Brian's brother; there will be a lunch at the Toby Carvery on Pat's birthday 4th December, and they will stay until 6th December, when I will take them home. I will then drop off Christmas gifts for my family at Dad and Shirley's on my way back.

Brian is looking forward to the M&S Christmas lunch on 7th December, the MS Centre Christmas lunch on 10th December, and Tea at the Dorchester Hotel, Park Lane with the Cancer Centre on 15th December. I have no doubt there will be photos to post after all these events.

As of 16th November, M&S stopped paying Brian, but he still gets Statutory Sick Pay. We did at least finally get a refund from our insurance company for his flights from the cancelled holiday in Turkey in September, but it was a bit of a fight!

I have been busy also with touring in Welsh National Opera's production of Beethoven's "Fidelio", tomorrow and Friday we perform in Southampton. Last week I was in sunny (and it was!) Llandudno, and I stayed in Welshpool with our dear friend Eve Barnes. The week before we were in Birmingham, and Liverpool the week before that, again I stayed with Eve. (The week before that was Geoffrey's move.) On 6th November I took part in a performance of the G&S operetta "Trial by Jury", playing the Counsel for the Plaintiff. It was at St. James', Piccadilly, and was a charity performance to raise money for the Bobby Moore Fund for Bowel Cancer. I am so thrilled that we raised over £1,000 for them, and it was such a fun performance! I'm now busy with rehearsals for "Madame Butterfly", which will open 11th December, so there's little time left, but we're managing to cope.... somehow.

All best wishes,

Ian

A scar heals, as a Star departs...

On Monday 11th, Tony drove Brian over to ASDA to look at the DVD's and CD's. Whilst Brian was relaxing, I rang to tell him that Dame Joan Sutherland had died - we were all fans and felt sad, but delighted that we have every recording, including (thanks to Paul) many live and rare recordings.

From my performance in Cardiff on Friday 8th, I drove back to Geoffrey's flat the following day to help him prepare for the move, and encourage him to sort out his papers. I was there till Monday evening, but we dumped lots of rubbish and sorted through his clothes and cupboards. He is very stressed by all of this, and Brian is stressing for him! One great piece of news is that Geoffrey got his money from the holiday insurance - Brian, as yet, has not!! (As one of our doctors said, "they are arseholes"!)

This Saturday 16th was an important milestone - Geoffrey celebrated his 60th birthday! Notice the hat in the photo! We are going to have a proper celebration once he is settled in the new flat and Brian finishes his chemo. I hope that part of this celebration can be my 40th birthday as 31st December is not an easy date, and Brian will still be on chemo at that stage.

Nicki called in for lunch on Thursday 14th, and Brian and she raised a glass to David (M&S), as it was his birthday.

Brian is enjoying reading the latest section of Paul O'Grady's autobiography (The Devil Rides Out). He can be heard chuckling away to himself, and sometimes reads out snippets. It's nice to hear him laugh. The chemo has been tougher this time. He refuses to dwell on these bad times. It's nothing he can't cope with. He was deeply touched by Nermin and Ali sending their message by photo via Graham. He is very focused on getting away next year, with all this cancer business behind him.

Thinking ahead about his holiday, he is pleased with how well the scars are healing - he's wondering what he'll look like in six months when he is mincing along the beach in a thong or mankini! He's had a few suggestions that he could incorporate the scar as part of a tattoo or piercing, perhaps, or have some sort of decorations around it? Ideas on a postcard, please!

Glitter and be gay?...

Brian says: "How come I get the chemo treatment which causes some patients to put on weight?!?" Yesterday, we went to the Royal Marsden and saw the lovely Dr. Axel, who was delighted with Brian's tolerance of the drugs, and says if you have a positive attitude and follow instructions you can make it! So, today Brian started the second of his eight chemo treatments, 2 weeks on pills, then a week off.

"Strictly Come Dancing" is back on the TV - "HURRAY!" (That's Brian, not ME!) - Bare chested tanned men swinging and twitching their hips, yards of chiffon, glittery sequins... Brian's high temperature and moist moments have nothing to do with his cancer treatment!

Pat, Jack and Peter arrived on Monday, loaded with Iced Tea. They visited Geoffrey's proposed new flat , which was much admired. Please God it completes soon whilst we all retain some sanity! (see photo above)

Tuesday and Brian was cheered up by a visit from Nicki and Carol from M&S, recalling the lunch boxes they saw in Majorca, and believe me, they were not talking sandwiches! They all agreed that it is amazing how much you can get in a thong these days!

David from M&S Menswear called in after work this afternoon, which pleased Brian to connect with another staff member from his department. He is determined to get the treatments done and dusted, so that he can get back to normal life - well, what constitutes Brian's version of normal, that is!

Off to the South East Cancer Health Centre in Purley tomorrow morning for our second massages, which we are very much looking forward to.

Ian x

You keep ringing, but you can't come in!..

Wednesday 22nd September, Chris Sargent arrived with bags of goodies. She had tried to deliver them on the way home from work on 21st, but could not make us hear the doorbell! Brian had the same problem on 23rd, when he went for his walk - unlike Chris, he hammered on the door with his umbrella till I ran downstairs and let him in! Later on Thursday, Georgie arrived looking fabulous - mainly because she was clutching a homemade fish pie - not only that, but in her bag was chicken soup! Brian and Geoffrey tucked in to that on the 24th convinced that they have discovered their very own Nigella!!

Pat and Jack decided to put the family estate on the market, with a view to downsizing. They're really just testing the market - no doubt they will be chatting about this when Brian's brother Peter brings them over on Monday 4th October.

Brian, Geoffrey and Graham were due to fly to Turkey on Tuesday 28th. With his M.S., Geoffrey was unable to travel without Brian, who obviously can't travel while he's on chemotherapy. Instead, we had a brunch at No. 2 to send Graham off on his solo trip. Nikki joined us as we chatted about the 10 days ahead. I then drove Graham to Gatwick Airport. Brian is in email contact with Nermin at the hotel in Dalyan, and will be living the holiday with Graham!

This morning, Brian and I had our first massage sessions at the South East Cancer Health Centre in Purley. It was very relaxing, I have severe tension in my shoulders and legs, which were relieved somewhat. I had the first session at 10.45, and when I came out Brian was being recruited (almost press-ganged) into joining the craft-making table, knitting and making Christmas decorations for their Christmas Fayre!
Brian went in to his session at 11.30, and looked quite spaced out on his return. Although on Wednesday he started his first week off the tablets, the chemotherapy really started to hit him on Monday and Tuesday, (which were his last two days on), and he is a great deal more tired than usual. We will see what the next set of treatment will be like from next Wednesday!

Ian xx

First week of chemotherapy...

So far, so good! Brian has a funny metallic taste in his mouth, and is a bit tired.
We forgot on the last blog to mention that Brian was asked at his Marsden appointment if he wanted to donate sperm to be stored. He asked if it was considered to be in the National Interest?! It wasn't!! On second thoughts, (as his doctor is quite gorgeous), Brian should have asked if he personally was going to assist!!

After stocking up the larder on Thursday, (26 bottles of Lipton's Iced Tea!), Brian and I went to the South East Cancer Help Centre, situated in the Tesco complex in Purley. They were very helpful, and we have massages booked for 30/9, 7/10 and 14/10.

Yesterday we went to his GP, Dr. Muhundan. Brian has high blood pressure and a fast heartbeat due to sub-conscious stress at the whole cancer thing. Dr. Muhundan said he needs to lose weight, as his colesteral is high, but the Dr. thinks that the chemo might take care of that! All his doctors agree that Brian should not work. It is the responsibility of the GP to provide the medical certificate, which Dr. Muhundan is happy to do on a 2 monthly basis, so that we maintain some contact, although he suggests this should be by telephone or fax, as he doesn't want Brian at the surgery, due to risk of infection.

My cousin Carole and her husband David came to visit on Sunday - we provided the main course, they brought desserts and bagels for later (see pic). Graham, the vicar, popped in yesterday afternoon, along with our friend David Grant. Brian's family are planning to come down from Felixstowe in the next two weeks.

Brian now has breakfast at 8.30am, so he can take his first chemo at 9am; lunch at 1.30pm; soup at 6pm and a snack at 8.30pm ready for his other dose of chemo at 9pm. He is still enjoying his books, although now with the chemo he does tend to fall asleep halfway down the page!

Ian xxx

Chemotherapy started today

It has been a strange week for Brian after the chemotherapy start-date was cancelled last week, but the good news is he has finally begun the treatment! Tests on the tumour took longer than anticipated, and if Brian had a mis-match repair DNA result, it means chemotherapy would not work. However, Brian was not surprised to find out his tumour was a common one, and so chemo could begin! The delay has given him more time to recover and heal from the operation.

Last Wednesday he went with Tony and Geoffrey to the MS Centre in Coulsdon (Geoffrey attends the centre every Wednesday), for a fundraising fish & chip lunch (Brian had a small portion!). On the Sunday before, we all went to Purley in celebration of Tony's friend Erwin's 40th birthday, which was delayed from April! (See top picture.)

Yesterday, Brian went to the Royal Marsden Hospital and has been given his drugs. For those of you interested or in the know with such things, they are called Capecitabine, and is in a group of drugs called Antimetabolites, that are incorportated into new nuclear material or combine irreversibly with vital cellular enzymes, preventing normal cell division. Capecitabine is metabolised into flourouracil, and is administered via the mouth, so not intravenously. He must take four 500mg tablets in the morning, within half hour of food, and then the same dose in the evening. That's a whopping 4,000mg in a day! He's taking each dose at 9am and 9pm. He will take these for 14 days and then have 7 days without taking any, and the course is for 24 weeks total (6 months, roughly). If he has any problems, then this may have to be extended.

Today, Nicki from M&S came and visited him, and Brian would be very grateful if anyone visiting him who wants to bring him something brings a 1.5 litre bottle of Liptons Lemon or Peach Iced Tea, as he is getting through these as if they were going out of fashion! As you can see from the second picture, he's looking well, but it's very early days to know what the effects of the chemotherapy will be on him over the coming days and weeks.

That's all for now, will post more next week!

Ian x

Bit early for an Indian Summer?...

Finally, the sun has remembered how to shine!! Brian has been able to sit in the garden - fear not: no thong - fresh scars cannot be exposed!

I've posted a pic of Brian's niece Joanna, having just read the news of Brian's success in the toilet department on last weeks entry - her expression says it all!

Brian had a visit from David and Chris Sargeant at M&S on Wednesday, Chris had had her roots done especially! Brian was delighted to see her, not just because he loves her, but also because she was clutching bags of staff food from M&S! His required diet is lots of protein, especially fish and chicken. Red meat is not so easily digested at the moment. This can be expensive, and so this donation from "waste" is very welcome!

The Royal Marsden have had to delay Brian's chemotherapy start date until the 13th September. It was meant to be this coming Monday, 6th, but due to delays in receiving the tumour from Mayday, tests on the tumour will not be ready in time. This will give him another week for his body to heal, but it is a little frustrating, as he was psyched up for starting this coming week!

Alan and Ann Brimble (recently retired M&S staff) came over on Friday, and sat in the garden, enjoying Tony's begonias - yes, he had them OUT! (See pics)

Christmas is coming...

Well, it has been a good week. In the toilet department, Brian finally produced something worth shouting about!! He was keen to post a photo on here, but we persuaded him that you would take his word for it, so we've spared you all!

On Thursday he went to see the surgeon who assisted Mr. Abulafi, and at least HE celebrated this news with Brian. He did an examination of the wounds and remarked that he had forgotten how big the final cut was! He was delighted with the healing thus far, though. The tumour was in the transverse colon, (left side) just before it becomes the descending colon. The surgeon assisted Mr. Abulafi in the theatre, and reassured Brian that it had been completely removed. The chemotherapy will just clean up any remaining cells.

Brian is happy that he told everyone about his cancer. He is a great fan of "Mistresses" on BBC1, and he agreed with Jessica when she said "Every time I tell someone else about the cancer, it's like hearing it myself all over again for the first time."

To occupy himself this week, he has been writing Christmas cards - (I know, and even Tony commented "Well, it IS August!"!!!) - but as Brian explained at the Royal Marsden Hospital this week (when he went for his second CT Scan on Wednesday), he doesn't know how he will be feeling later in the year with the chemo, and it is a productive pastime while he is still restricted. He told the doctor that he thought he had a good stash of cards, but not so - he will have to stock up for Christmas 2011!! The doctor replied that it's this spirit that makes Brian who he is - there are many who would not be thinking about this Christmas, let alone being around for next year!!

Time for some news...

Brian has been at home resting and recovering. He has been showered with cards, gifts and messages of support. All of this is FABULOUS, and just what is required to maintain the positive attitude Brian has had from Day One!

He has had very invasive surgery, which of course takes time to heal. The outside scar is healing well, but the inside stiches are still pulling and painful. The post-operative consultation is on Thursday 26th August and we can establish exactly what took place on the inside (i.e. what was removed from his bowel), and we will post this information once we have it.

Brian takes a short walk every day and is eating well, small and often.

On Wednesday 18th August he went for his registration and consultation at The Royal Marsden Hospital in Sutton. The offer has been made for him to begin Chemotherapy, providing all the necessary tests are okay. They took blood samples and ECG. He must also have another CT Scan, scheduled for Wednesday 25th August, before his next appointment on Monday 6th September, when he should begin treatment. This is likely to be tablets only, and all the possible side effects have been explained to him.

His holiday in Turkey has to be cancelled, but he says that when this is all over there will be lots of opportunity to travel.

Scarred for life

Well, Brian had his staples removed from his wound yesterday. Attached are two pics, before and after. The little points you see around his belly-button are from the keyhole surgery that was meant to take place, and the large transverse scar just under his left ribcage is the open surgery scar, which is why it is so large.

Fortunately, the removal of the staples was fairly painless, although Brian said he felt strangely more vulnerable without the plasters. Progress each day is getting better, he's able to do a little more than the previous day. He even managed to sleep on his right side in bed last night. And this morning he had his first proper shower, which has pleased him greatly.

We're still on the strict diet regime, and fruit really isn't good for him at the moment. But things are starting to improve as his system starts to mend, but it will be months before he's back to normal.

Home at last!

The title of this entry refers as much to me as to Brian. I've been away at Lulworth in Dorset since Friday morning until early evening yesterday, camping in a field at Camp Bestival. It was fun, and we did 3 performances of Acts I and II of "La Boheme", in which I sang both Benoit and Alcindoro. This is part of the OperaUpClose performances which are on till 4th September at the Soho Theatre, but enough plugging for them, on with what you came here to read!

Brian came out of hospital on Saturday, and is doing very well indeed. After arriving home, he ate a large meal which caused him some severe discomfort, so he is now on a strict regime of little and often, which consists of porridge in the morning, a piece of fruit or a couple of biscuits around midday, then a main meal at 2pm (small in size, one course), dessert at 4pm (again small, usually yoghurt or pot-based dessert), then soup and a slice of bread at 6pm and finally a tuna mayonnaise sandwich at 8pm. He's drinking plenty of fluids, and he is also moving about the house a lot, up and down the stairs at least twice a day. He is very sore, but not in too much pain, in fact he is not taking any painkillers as the ones he's been prescribed have made him feel nauseous.

Tomorrow (Wednesday) he is off to the GP Surgery to have his staples removed from his wound. Tony and I had to collect the implement from Mayday Hospital this morning, as the surgery don't have them, and Brian was not given one in his discharge pack. He's not looking forward to that, but at least it is another step in his recovery.

He managed a celebration on his birthday with his brother Ian, wife Amanda, and two nieces Joanna and Francesca bringing along fairy cakes, each with a letter that spelt out "Uncle Brian" and in the centre was one with a heart shape, which he managed to eat (see picture!).

Anyone who wishes to visit the house to see Brian is more than welcome to bring fruit-flavoured drinks, wine gums or a DVD. Please call us to arrange a time first, as we are waiting for a follow-up appointment from the hospital to discuss the results of the biopsy on the tumour. Brian requests that you don't bring fruit, as it's not too good for him to have too much at the moment. If you want to know what DVD's to bring contact me at iandpope@googlemail.com and I can send you the list of DVD's he'd really like. But there's no pressure for anyone to bring anything at all, either, just if you would like to.

Anyway, that's all for now, will keep you posted as to progress over the next few days. Take care and all best wishes,

Ian xx

Brian's birthday progress

Well, today is Brian's 58th birthday, what a way to be spending it. Thanks to everyone who's sent cards and get well wishes.

After feeling somewhat nauseous earlier in the day, Brian is feeling better now. He has been told by the doctor that he can eat as much or as little as he likes. Their main concern is that his bowels are working properly, and it seems that they are starting to now, when I left at 1pm he seemed to be going to the toilet quite frequently.

He did manage some stairs yesterday, so I joked that he'll have to jog around the hospital today, but I don't think he's quite up to that yet! His brother Ian and wife Amanda and his three nieces are visiting this afternoon, I am sure that will cheer him up!

This will be the last posting on here for 4 days, as I am off to Camp Bestival in Lulworth, Dorset (with some of the cast of "La Boheme" currently performing at the Soho Theatre) this weekend and will return on Monday, when I will post more then.

Bye for now, and thanks for reading!

Lots of love,
Ian xx

Tuesday 27th Visit/Wednesday Morning visit

Hi everyone,
I've seen Brian twice now since his operation, I saw him last night and then again this morning. His progress is excellent, he has had all the tubes, catheter, epidurals and other paraphernalia removed today. As I entered the ward, he was standing by the front nurses desk, and now he's in his own pyjamas, and sitting and standing freely. His doctor has said he can go home on Saturday!

He is quite tired still, (to be expected), but he's striving to keep awake as much as possible. He is eating already, having has porridge, a full meal at lunch, and some soup and a bread roll for dinner yesterday, and porridge and lunch today.

As to the operation, he was in theatre for 6 hours, some of which was due to positioning - apparently because the tumor was really embedded, they couldn't do keyhole surgery, but it was not too large a cut as they knew where they were going. He still has his spleen, too, as this was not injured in the removing of the bowel. Yesterday, he was having trouble walking, because of the 3-needle epidural in his spine, which has now gone.

So, all is positive and looking good for a speedy recovery. The picture was taken yesterday!

All best, more tomorrow. By the way, tomorrow is his birthday, thanks to all who have sent cards and emails!
Ian xx

Brian's had the operation!

Brian was out of the ward for over 9 hours, but was wide-awake and cheerful at 18:30 when Tony went to see him. As I had a dress rehearsal in Soho this evening, I've been unable to see him myself. However, there is a "Quick Recovery" Plan in operation - he has a 3-needle Epidural to avoid having Morphine, which can cause constipation. The Epidural must stay in for 3 days so he must not move and dislodge it. If he does, then he will go onto Morphine, which will delay the healing process. Possibility that if the Epidural works, he may be home by Friday.

I shall be going to see Brian tomorrow afternoon, so will update more tomorrow evening!
Chris and Nikki from M&S will be visiting him on Wednesday.

That's all for now,
Ian xx

Update 2 - New Op time

On my second visit today, Brian's operation time has been moved to 8.30am tomorrow morning.

I also neglected to mention which ward Brian is on in the last update, so I am rectifying that now. He is on Edgcombe 1 Ward, Section 2. This is part of the London Wing, Blue Zone, and is easy to find: through main entrance, head to the escalators ahead of you, go up to 1st Floor, then turn left and left again, walk along the corridor and then turn 1st right. Edgcombe 1 is on the right hand side of the ward.

Although his operation is going to be earlier, Brian feels he won't be ready for visitors till Tuesday.

All best wishes to you all, and thanks for all your messages of love and support!
Ian xx

Sunday 25th July - Operation Looms

Well, it's the day before Brian's operation. Tony and I accompanied him to Mayday Hospital. He is having to purge himself ready for tomorrow, three purges today and then an enema tomorrow morning. (What joy!)

The operation itself is scheduled for 13:30hrs, (He says he'll be starving by then, as he's not allowed any food today!) and so he probably will not be finshed before 17:30, so please, no visitors tomorrow. Thank you.

Talking of which, visiting times are 11am-1pm and 3-8pm every day except Tuesday, which is 11am-1pm, then 4.30-8pm, as they do deep cleaning through the ward.

As far as I am aware, it is generally 2 people to visit at any one time, but here are some details I do know as to who will be visiting:

Tuesday - Faye from M&S around 4-6pm? Ian from 6pm.

Wednesday - Alec and Sue between 3-4pm, Georgie from M&S after 4pm.

Thursday - Ian and Amanda Minter between 3-5pm.

Tony and I will be visiting in the mornings and also in the later evening where possible.

We'll keep you posted as to what happens tomorrow. That's all for now,

Ian xx

First Post - Brian's Operation

Dear Friends,

We have a date for Brian's operation - Monday 26th July at Mayday Hospital.

I'll be posting updates on his progress here, so do subscribe to this blog for more details.

Please try and use this rather than calling the house to see how Brian is doing. This way, we can help keep phone calls to the house minimal, especially when Brian returns home and will really need to rest.

Bye for now,

Ian x